Entering my third year as an indie, it is my responsibility to impart sage wisdom to the world. (Don’t blink, or you might miss it.) See the series introduction post for more on my saga. But for now, lesson #10 for 2012:

Publish and sell everything you write.

This is one I’m still trying to figure out. But it connects with the last lesson on being professional. Everything you write should be written at a professional level. If it is written at a professional level, monetize it. If you can’t monetize it, you might be wasting your time and or talent. (It’s hard to believe I’m even typing this! I suppose I need to explain myself a bit further.

I firmly believe that a sale for $0.00 is still a sale.

Sometimes it is neccessary to sell your work for zero profit in order to increase profitable sales. So in my mind, sales and profit are two separate things.

I don’t intent to profit off my blog posts, but I plan on gaining subscribers to my blog. You can find pretty decent data on the aethernets about the rate subscribers typically convert to paying customers or social network promoters, etc. Therefore (using my twisted logic) a subscription is a percentage of a sale. Thus I am monetizing my blog posts.

Amazon and Barnes and Noble and other on-line retailers are making it easier and easier to be affiliates. This is another way to gain a tiny bit of money from blogging. If you need to be doing it for platform anyway, make sure you are monetizing it. If you aren’t selling yourself, no one is! (But that is for next week’s post).

If you are writing short stories or flash fiction, figure out how to sell them. If you write poetry on the side… you guessed it. Sell it. If you can’t figure out how to sell it, then I have to question if it’s worth your time and effort. Right?

The Amazon Kindle store

The Amazon Kindle store is a prime example currently of how offering your work for “free sales” can potentially increase “profit sales.” It is pretty standard for an indie author to be able to run their novel, book, short, etc. for free over the span of two or three days and rally up anywhere from 3,000 to 7,000 “free sales.” These can lead to positive word of mouth, brand recognition, reviews, and or sales of other works.

While these benefits usually down follow immediately, they usually do follow eventually (unless you’ve published a piece of moldy brain-rot, or have failed to build any sort of platform). Bottom line: everything you do should be helping you sell product either by 1.) selling product 2.) gaining subscribers 3.) gaining word of mouth.

***Standard Disclaimer: There are 3 brands of Indie:

1. an artist expressing him/herself for the pure joy of it
2. an artist or idealist who wishes to express an emotion or idea to the world
3. an artist/entrepreneur who wishes to make a living as a writer

An indie can be one, two or all three of these. But knowing the composition is critical. I am all three of the above, but first and foremost I have to be #3, or I won’t be able to continue doing #2 and #1 full-time. Not all of the above applies to someone seeking #1 or #2. Man, this is sounding scatological, isn’t it?

At the risk of breaking some unspoken taboo around saying the word loincloth too frequently for modern society, I’m coming forward with the end all solution to air travel security.

I mean, am I the only one freaking out over the rash (two) of contrived UEDs (undergarment explosive devices)? How can this stand? And what sort of security molestation will we be subject to next?

All travelers upon commercial airlines should be required to wear a standard uniform–the loincloth.

But never fear. There is a simple solution. Remove all the porn scanners. Remove the puffers and the bleepers. Free up the congested arteries of our bottlenecked air terminals nationwide! Salvation has come, and its name is loincloth!

So sustainable, so simple. No hidden weapons, no worries. What god-fearing terrorist wants to meet his/her maker in a loincloth? How can someone even sustain vitriol or blood-lust while wearing a loincloth? Have you tried? Let me tell you, it’s impossible. All murderous rage just melts away when you feel the skin of your bare buttocks slide into a first-class naugahyde seat.

While cutting down on Fruit of the Loom shrapnel and travel related anxieties, the loincloth would help save precious overhead cargo space as well. Once the trend catches on across all levels of society, travelers will be able to cut down on packing by 63%. That means less jet fuel expended. That means less carbon emissions. That means less threat of environmental collapse. Thus longer before your home and family are overrun by zombies.

When you don’t wear a loincloth while traveling a zombie eats little Susie’s brains. No one wants that. Wear a loincloth. Save your brains.

Twitch and Die! is coming soon…

Entering my third year as an indie, it is my responsibility to impart sage wisdom to the world. (Don’t blink, or you might miss it.) See the series introduction post for more on my saga. But for now, lesson #9 for 2012:

Put professional effort into everything you do, or don’t do it.

Being professional is about doing whatever it is you do for others rather than yourself. A writer can write for him or herself. A professional writer must (to an extent) write for the reader. That is what it means to be professional. I can build myself a house and therefore be a builder. But if I build you a house, I damn well better be a professional. (Unless you’re okay with things like load-bearing posters and remembering to walk around certain spots in the floor.)

No matter how small the job, a builder’s career can be on the hook if he/she slops the hogs instead of feeding the chicks. Indie writers should live by the same rule.

Success within the realm of art is built on the Waldo Effect.

The three basic tenets of this effect state:

1. be sufficiently individual while maintaining a presence among the crowd.
2. be consistently recognizable via brand
3. pick a place to be and hope luck spots you quickly

All of this to say, you never know who may be looking your way at any given time. If what that person sees is something unprofessional, inconsistent, etc. then that person may never look your way again. A poor blog post can lose you potential readers. A sloppy social media bio can turn someone off. A horrible headshot or poor cover for a short story. A sloppy guest post or article.

Whether you are writing blog posts, short stories, articles, etc., all of these can build your brand. Blogs are now a legitimate form of writing. There are such things as professional bloggers. Put professional energy into your blogging or don’t do it. If your blog is how a reader checks you out and your blog isn’t professional, then you aren’t professional.

If you blog, ensure people who are reading your blog subscribe. A subscription is a sale (even if the price is free). Someone who subscribes to your free products (if they are professional) is much more likely to pay for others when they come along.

Dont’ read me wrong. By professional I’m not saying stuffy or starched or straight-laced. But I am saying even a blog post should be considerate of your readers more than yourself (if you are trying to be a professional!) Even as I type this I realize there is probably a type-(oh!) somehwere lurking about. A blog post is probably not worth paying for professional editing (although having a couple reliable friends who read your posts and send you immediate feedback is a good idea), but you can believe I give it pofreshinal effort.

***Standard Disclaimer: There are 3 brands of Indie:

1. an artist expressing him/herself for the pure joy of it
2. an artist or idealist who wishes to express an emotion or idea to the world
3. an artist/entrepreneur who wishes to make a living as a writer

An indie can be one, two or all three of these. But knowing the composition is critical. I am all three of the above, but first and foremost I have to be #3, or I won’t be able to continue doing #2 and #1 full-time. Not all of the above applies to someone seeking #1 or #2. Man, this is sounding scatological, isn’t it?

http://internationaldieselpunkday.wordpress.com/

Now presenting the first all-encompassing, one-stop dieselpunk wiki! For all your dieselpunk curiosities and addictions. The Dieselpunk Encyclopedia has come.

The curators are two of the most venerable dieselpunks on the planet (this reality or any alternately dieselishly one you can come up with): Lord K and Larry Amyett (of Texas!) From subculture to fashion to literature to cinema to DIY to the tenets of dieselpunk, the DP Encyclopedia has it all.

“Rather than sealing oneself in the dusty coffins of a long dead past, a dieselpunk should adopt the orphan zeitgeist of earlier days and raise it in the modern age. By fusing the past with today, he builds something new that would be unexpected in any age.”

“Dieselpunks are not stagnant consumers. The dieselpunk mentality demands dynamism in thinking and expression. It is not enough to consume the fruits of our father’s labor and suckle the milk of our corporate mothers. In order to grow in mind and spirit, dieselpunks and their communities must strive to create a vision of the future using whatever tools they are armed with: the brush, the pen, the camera, or the wrench.”

“Dieselpunk is a sub-genre of the pop surrealist art movement and a budding sub-culture that combines the aesthetics of the interbellum period through World War II, and ending before or at the early 1950s, with postmodern technology and sensibilities. According to the article “Discovering Dieselpunk” the word “Dieselpunk” was coined in 2001 as a marketing term by game designer Lewis Pollak to describe his role-playing game Children of the Sun, dieselpunk has grown to describe a distinct style of visual art, music, motion pictures, fiction, and engineering.”

So, still wondering what dieselpunk really is? Well, that’s part of the whole experience. Jump on board and you can contribute to the definition as it evolves along with our future! You’ll find you are along for the ride with a great group of people.

This week on Read it! Review it! Share it! I’m going all practical! I’m still a crazy rebel indie-style something wicked bad. But everyone needs a couple of free resources for juicing their creative endeavors every now and then. So have at ‘em.

Secrets to Ebook Publishing Success (Smashwords Guides)

This is the latest by Mark Coker. If you just woke up from a pre-ebook coma then I should tell you that Coker is pretty much the founder of the indie ebook publishing revolution (if any one person could be dubbed this). He is behind Smashwords.com where you can also go and get Secrets to Ebook Publishing Success for free.

This book goes well beyond Smashwords to include all the basics you need to know and be reminded of as an indie author trying to spread the word on your genius far and wide. Readily digestible and full of best practices, this is a must reference to have on hand. And it’s free! (*0.99 at Kindle store) Read it! Review it! Share it!

Write Good or Die

This free writing advice book takes the approach that all writing advise sucks. Well, sorta. Rather the editor, Scott Nicholson, acknowledges that there are so many individual approaches to being a successful/career writer today that no single writer’s advice can be completely applicable to any other writer.

So, Nicholson put together a diverse lineup of career writers from all sorts of backgrounds to each share their best stuff. The result is a worthy, inspirational read for the sort of indie writer willing to think outside the box and push the limits in order to succeed. Write Good or Die! Read it! Review it! Share it!

Entering my third year as an indie, it is my responsibility to impart sage wisdom to the world. (Don’t blink, or you might miss it.) See the series introduction post for more on my saga. But for now, lesson #8 for 2012:

Plan on having no success until one year after the release of your third novel.

As always it is critical to know thyself. If you are more of an entrepreneur than a writer, you may be able to shake your money maker and find commercial success with one or two novels. I’ve seen a few people do it.

On the other hand, if you are like me (an incompetent boob living in a fantasy bubble high off his own fart gas) it will take you even longer. (I’m not even going to go into doomsday scenarios due to the Department of Justice decision in regards to agency.)

If you are primarily a writer focus first on creating more and better content.

But, you will have to make up for marketing and sales deficiencies via adjustments to your writing.

I understand that as an artist it can be difficult to tap into the hive mind (or even admit you need to). But whether we like it or not, reality dictates things like making money within a capitalist market. It might be a skewed detestable sort of reality… (I’m not saying we have to permanently relocate there, just camp out for a few weeks at a time) but it is reality after all.

Within that reality the potential to market your product will depend on the ability of consumers to relate to your product. This doesn’t mean you have to write romance, smut, mysteries or thrillers to make a living (although this would be the easiest path), but you will have to figure out how to relate your creative content in a way hungry consumers can identify.

“You’ve never read anything like this before!” just doesn’t work. People want to read what they’ve read before. Sorry.

Now that you’ve gotten yourself a large glass of wine or poured yourself a Harvey Wallbanger, let’s focus on the light at the end of the tunnel.

It is possible to wrap something new and unique in familiar trappings, thus scratching the reader’s itch for the known while also thrilling them with something new. It has taken me some time, but I’ve finally found my trappings–The DMB Files.

Wrap the unique in something familiar

For two years I spent my heart and soul creating quirky, retro pulp, dieselpunk Western stories just for the sheer thrill of it. After realizing my path was commercial suicide I groped about for some means to be able to continue to write for a living.

The answer came in creating a commercial conspiracy-thriller series that will investigate the world of the stories I’ve already written (and will continue to write). What if the present day or near future of my alternate history timeline began to uncover that these pulpy novels from some obscure dime novelist (David Mark Brown) were actually based on real events since buried by a powerful secret society?

Now my “Lost DMB Files” stories become artifacts within the thriller “DMB Files” series which takes place 100 years later! Near-future conspiracy-thrillers are something readers can connect too. And the new marketing for my old stories also helps couch them in a familiar manner.

The first novel in the more commercial “DMB Files” won’t be available until November/December 2012, so it is yet to be seen whether my new tack will yield the results I need to survive. And it will most likely take a year from release to build the head of steam necessary to pop the book up the ratings anyway. But for those of you interested in keeping track, I’ll let you know how it goes.

***Standard Disclaimer: There are 3 brands of Indie:

1. an artist expressing him/herself for the pure joy of it
2. an artist or idealist who wishes to express an emotion or idea to the world
3. an artist/entrepreneur who wishes to make a living as a writer

An indie can be one, two or all three of these. But knowing the composition is critical. I am all three of the above, but first and foremost I have to be #3, or I won’t be able to continue doing #2 and #1 full-time. Not all of the above applies to someone seeking #1 or #2. Man, this is sounding scatological, isn’t it?

This is what it has come to. It’s the only way to involve Americans in a truly democratic election for the next president of the United States. And it’s so simple Simon Cowell would puke.

The process starts off with a regional (maybe state by state) essay contest. Names are kept off of the essays so they are judged by merit/content only by a bunch of snot-nosed interns headed up by the Lieutenant Governor. The top 100 essays move on to the next level.

At the second level of competition our national judges come into play (hand-selected by George W., Bill Clinton and TV execs). Let’s say the panel ends up looking something like Karl Rove, Bill Maher, Donald Trump and Rahm Emanuel. This is also where television coverage kicks in.

The author of each winning essay stands before the panel in full costume representing their favorite American patriot, defending their choice with a 25 word pitch before getting grilled by the panel. Then they are either rejected or given a ticket to D.C.! (I’m going to the National Mall, baby!)

Time for the big top. Each week (live from the National Theater) a different group of eight contestants draw lots on which role they will assume during a presidential simulation. On a stage resembling the bridge of the U.S.S. (Starship) Enterprise, the simulator kicks in as the judges help throw the “crew” into turmoil. Maybe one week Israel bombs Iran, while another week a virulent pandemic blossoms. A dirty bomb detonates during the world series or Oprah is revealed to be an android. You get the idea.

Time is called after 25 minutes. Next the viewing audience is regaled by the judges on what they think about individual performances. Finally people are giving the chance to “vote” via text and phone and internet on who they think should be given another chance and who should be “cancelled.”

After 17 episodes the contestants are narrowed down to the final four. In a miniseries showcase each of the four gets the spotlight for a personal interest documentary on their life. Finally, in a breathless, breakneck two hour special each of the four gets a shot at the “helm” of the simulator while every sort of national disaster is hurled at the contestants one after another until only one is left standing–the next American President!

Democratically elected, publicly vetted, battle tested. A hero of the highest mettle. Best of all, it would be a process even the laziest of American couch potato could participate in. What are we waiting for? (Rupert Murdoch and Simon Cowell, I’m looking at you.)

This week on Read it! Review it! Share it! I’ve got two almost unrelated books for you. I tried to find a theme… but, hey. Sometimes you just gotta read what you read. Moving on…

Bye Bye Bertie

This is a real, indie gem–proof that the burgeoning independent publishing movement is gifting the world with brilliant novels that would have otherwise never seen the light of day. Bye Bye Bertie is a satirical, modern day detective novel (with a retro Dragnet-era feel) based on a gen-x, Canuck gumshoe who moves to Seattle in order to open a Christian detective agency.

Detective Jo LaFlam is equally interested in his profession and determining the mystic will of God as he is in jelly donuts and getting married. This book is funny. And I’m not just saying that. How could throwing Sergeant Friday into the middle of contemporary Seattle as a Christian detective not be funny? Let me tell you, it is. Mix in a hot, conservative dame with a sister being brainwashed by Druids, and you’ll soon be along for a great ride. Read it! Review it! Share it! (the paperback is cheaper than ebook!)

Treasure Quest of the Third Reich

Paul von Hauser is just a low-level criminal lawyer working for the Nazis during the advanced stages of WWII until a trivial interview with a prisoner sets him on a quest for an ancient Jewish fortune in gold. First off, I need to be clear. This is not an Inglorious Bastards sort of adventure romp through a dieselpunk, Nazi Germany. (Which would be the sort of book I normally yap about).

Treasure Quest (despite the name) feels more like a cerebral, piece of historical literary fiction. It is well-researched (from what I can tell) and frolics in revealing the timber and feel of German life amidst the rubble of a bomb-besiged Berlin. Most of the characters are trying to think of life after the war, and how to best navigate their current situation in order to get to that hoped for future. While this book has lots of potential, (along the lines of City of Thieves) I was left feeling schizophrenic about the story. I feel like it has not yet embraced its higher calling (maybe in fear that it won’t be read unless it includes Nazi gold). Read it! Review it! Share it!