[dropcap2]G[/dropcap2]ood day, fellow freedom tweeters and liber-face-bookers. Have you been doing your part to bring down the fearsome specter of tyranny today? That’s right. Put down the AK-47 and pick up the mouse. The best weapons Westerners had in the 20th century for fighting repressive regimes were Levis, Starbucks, Madonna and McDonalds. (Fine weapons indeed. How could a quarter-pounder-sedated, espresso-wired, pointy-brawed, button-flied revolutionary ever settle again for boring propaganda films and scratchy blue pants?)
But for the 21st century, Westerners can revel in the fact that we’ve once again transformed the world! After dot.coms, there was Oprah and Twilight. Little did we know that the grandest revolution of all was twittering away on the nets, flibberty-jibitting about celebrity sex habits and BP cover-ups. Social media, take your bow. You’re the new champion of democracy and harbinger of freedom.
Silly neocons, arms scandals are for kids. Today’s world police use servers and satellites to mold the world in their image. Who could have guessed that if we’d stuffed our scuds with html, css, and javascript that we could have blown Saddam into a life of obscurity in Palm Harbor, Florida with a lot less hassle?
So if wikileaks isn’t your cup of joe, then support your local adopt a server ministry or give your extra change to the local hackers-of-tomorrow after school programs. Retweeting the global cause for justice is a great place to start, but let’s use our carpal tunnel braces to really step it up. Let’s ensure that our oppressed technorati across the globe have the bandwidth they need in order to kick those despots right in their digital giblets.[divider]
I love the smell of binary in the morning! Don’t you, Supreme Leader?
Does wearing tin foil on your head really keep the technorati from reading our minds?