The Waning of Thinking Man’s Schlock

Movie Poster for SchlockFirst off, I’m aware that the title of this post makes it sound like it should be in the latest issue of American Pharmaceuticals or Playboy. Ha, ha. Have your laugh so we can get on with it.

Has the world gotten too cruel for highbrow potty humor? Has satire been relegated to AFV (the new hip version of America’s Funniest Home Videos)?

Today I sit on the blog-o-hilltop in sackcloth and ashes lamenting the current condition of the thinking man’s schlock. But what, Mr. Redneck Granola, exactly is thinking man’s schlock. And are you sure you don’t just have a bad case of heartburn? Or maybe you had too many jalapeños on your pizza last night?

Yes, I did have too many jalapeños on my pizza, but that’s a separate issue. For now I’m talking about the sort of cheap entertainment our society used to cherish. Films such as Blazing Saddles and Airplane, or the poetry of Ogden Nash and Edward Lear (whatever happened to the limerick?). [Read more...]

The Trending of Micro-Niche Novels

The Indie ebook novelist lives in a world of tags, LCD’s, SEO, design, tweets, content marketing, pajamas, likes, coffee shops, fans, (sometimes dirty diapers) and usually hard liquor. Along with all these wonderful things I’ve also learned to release my dreams of New York Times best seller, and instead embrace the new goal of Amazon/Kindle ebooks/Science Fiction/Adventure top-100-list best seller.

Welcome to the rise of the micro-niche novel. As a reader of fiction I’m ecstatic about this revolution, which essentially guarantees me a supply of quality fiction specifically written to my tastes. As a writer I’ve been untethered from the wants and demands of the big six publishers and the agents who feed their fix.

With the redonculous power Amazon/Kindle exerts over the ebook industry, they have become the new benchmark of success. [Read more...]

Slide Over Despots, it’s Revolution 2.0

Fife & Drum

[dropcap2]G[/dropcap2]ood day, fellow freedom tweeters and liber-face-bookers. Have you been doing your part to bring down the fearsome specter of tyranny today? That’s right. Put down the AK-47 and pick up the mouse. The best weapons Westerners had in the 20th century for fighting repressive regimes were Levis, Starbucks, Madonna and McDonalds. (Fine weapons indeed. How could a quarter-pounder-sedated, espresso-wired, pointy-brawed, button-flied revolutionary ever settle again for boring propaganda films and scratchy blue pants?)

But for the 21st century, Westerners can revel in the fact that we’ve once again transformed the world! After dot.coms, there was Oprah and Twilight. Little did we know that the grandest revolution of all was twittering away on the nets, flibberty-jibitting about celebrity sex habits and BP cover-ups.  [Read more...]

Pass the Hat Monday: Love Day

Pass the Hat

[dropcap2]W[/dropcap2]elcome to the Green Porch’s newest monthly feature, “Pass the hat” Monday. On the middle Monday each month I’ll pass the hat around the porch asking for digital handouts like retweets, facebook likes, forwarded links, etc. as a way to spread the wealth around the World Wide Porch. Each month will feature someone else from the global porch alongside yours truly (self-interest is involved, of course).

Plus, I’ll dedicate much of the day to sit around on the porch in my pajamas (ratty old underwear) and host a lively discussion on the month’s theme (this go around dealing with Love Day!) The Porch believes that what comes around goes around, so let’s pass it around (unless you’ve got gonorrhea.)[divider]

So let’s give this a go and see what happens.

Pass the Hat Monday: Love Day

[dropcap2]T[/dropcap2]he theme discussion hosted at twitter/RedneckGranola and facebook/RedneckGranola for the next 24 hours will revolve around, “What is the stupidest thing you have done for or given to someone (or vice versa) on Valentine’s Day?” Pop in and share with the world wild porch.[divider]

Choose between these two posts and spread the love: (via the sharing icons after the post or by leaving a comment!)

1.) “What’s a Granola?” 2.) “Jesus Christ, Captain Obvious?“[divider]

Check out Roz Morris’ “Nail Your Novel” ebook which releases on Kindle today. Roz is a rockstar in the digital realm for helping other writers get their mojo going. Her book is some of the best of her best, so today is the day to pass the hat back her way. Thanks, Roz! If you are interested in her ebook, buy it today to boost her ranking with Amazon, or just scope out her website here! [divider]

Have a great Love Day!

The best Simpson's Valentine ever!