Redneck Sustainability Archives - Page 11 of 12

Redneck Sustainability: The Apocalypse

April 8, 2009 by David Mark Brown

If there is one thing that Rednecks, Granolas and Mormons have in common it is their love for sticking it to the man and their affinity for a little Armageddon. Well I guess that is two things, and who doesn’t like sticking it to the man, except for all the regular joe shmoe, middle aged, white, males out there that are the man? I have to face it. In another 10 years or so I will be a little “Man” in training if I can ever make any money or gain any power.

Anyway, Granolas come at the end times a little less “religiously,” but just as dogmatically. For any good granola the end is near due to man’s incessant and beastly abuse of the earth. For Mormons and Rednecks the end is near because of damn gentiles and damn liberals, respectively. But, the results can be the same for all three groups. They know how to make the most out of a little and are ready to do so after civilization falls. Whether you are in the wilderess of Texas, Montana, Oregon or Utah you are likely to find the “off-griders,” or as I will refer to them in a coming blog, “The bunker nuts and belly-achers.” Full disclosure at this point requires that I share with you, the reader, just how tempted I am to become one. But as of this point I still own a traditional home connected to the grid here in SLC.

Redneck Sustainability: Eating Your Pets

April 1, 2009 by David Mark Brown

Bar-b-que-sausages — from friend to food

Before you gag from the title of this blog, let me explain that my pets growing up included a pig, a few dozen rabbits, some ducks, a few hamsters, an occasional cat, a dog, a calf and a guinea pig. I’ll let your imagination tell you which ones I ate and witch ones I didn’t. But why should eating pets be such a bad thing?

If anything is out of whack, it’s that we’ve manipulated animal breeding, not that we eat them. What’s worse? Eating domesticated animals or breeding them to belch methane into old age and die a pointless life? There’s a chin scratcher.

Natives to North America, First Peoples if you will, knew that we should have a healthy connection with the food we eat, sometimes even asking the noble beasts permission to extinguish their souls. Now whacking a domesticated pet in the head as it stares up at you with trusting eyes might not be quite the same as hunting a noble beast, but none the less, it’s good to have an intimate connection with our food.

On that note, let’s take another lesson in sustainability from the redneck play book of life.

Redneck Sustainability: A Lesson in Reuse

March 28, 2009 by David Mark Brown

yard-junk Uppity folk may call it offensive, but rednecks just call it home.

There are a lot of different names for it these days. Some now call it reuse. Polite, cute little title. Some still call it salvage. Some call it practical stewardship. Some call it scavenging or hoarding. I just call it pickens. Whatever title you give it, rednecks have always known about the sustainable reuse of material goods. The ranch I grew up on had an advanced system for it.