The Green Porch

T.V. has long suckled at humankind’s proverbial teat. The time has come for the madam of Babylon to contribute toward sustaining the world that has made her (with something other than the 22 fine seasons of the Simpsons).

These days everyone is getting in on the act. Chevrolet is planting trees faster than cars can crash into them, and British Petroleum is building gas stations that run on solar power (weird, I know).

What better platform for Hollywood to use to do its part than reality T.V.? I’m talking about something significant, well beyond their current environmental policy of using locally grown, organic soy milk in their lattes. Survivor, North Korea.

Now before you get the wrong idea, I’m not talking espionage here. I’m talking diplomacy and aid at its best.

Read moreHow T.V.’s Survivor Wins the Nobel Prize for Peace

A brave new exposé by The New York Times has revealed once and for all to the public that hygiene in America has gone completely OCD.  Emboldened by the courage of the individuals who stood forward for the Times, I too am ready to be recognized as one of the “unshowered and unashamed.”

Reading the Times article one could be led to believe that there are critical scientific reasons to forgo showering, washing your hair and wearing anti-persperant.  But this is like admitting that you drink wine regularly for the health benefits – it totally negates the too coolio for schoolio factor.  It makes the beautiful seem, well, dorky.

I need no edifice of scientific reasoning or lame-o excuses to do the right thing (preachiness intended.)  Now that The New York Times as clumsily broached the issue, maybe the world is finally ready to hear the truth.  The one you have all come to know and love as David Mark Brown showers no more than twice weekly, has not besmirched his body with anti-persperant since he was 13, and has only used soap for “the hairy parts” since 1996.

Read moreOfficially Coming Out of the Shower