Northerners have this thing called coffee. (Yes, I know we drink it here in the South too, but Starbucks and the like were nonetheless alien to the South until the early 90’s.) Down here we have sugar.
It makes sense too. Northerners have to get up in pitch black and dig their cars out of snowbanks in order to slide to their job at the yeti farm where they earn enough money to go curling in the evenings and pay for their costly sunning and tanning beds (used occasionally for growing personal amounts of medicinal marijuana, wink, wink, and to dispel their seasonal depression.) Who does this sort of thing without coffee?
But in the South we get up to songbirds and Willie Nelson (preferring our marijuana second-hand) and desire something a little more substantial before we set about our rigorous work of riding and roping broncos. What says substantial Southern breakfast better than fried pie?
