Fake Mac Virus & Global Cyber-Jihad

This post is a desperate plea for peace, and for cooler heads to prevail. Over the last couple of months a scam service, MacDefender, has been propagating their “scare ware” across the internets in an attempt to 1.) sucker Mac users into buying virus protection and 2.) give Mac haters reasons to justify their ignorance.

The true danger here is to the livelihoods and wellbeing of the creators of MacDefender. Have these people a death wish? Have they not witnessed the devastating technical ninjutsu of Steve Jobs’ minions around the world? But please, Mac Zealots, do not take justice into your own hands. It’s not worth it (unless you’re at least 90% sure you won’t get caught).

To make matters worse, redonkulous headlines such as the Salt Lake Tribune’s, “Oh my Tech: Surprise! Mac users can get viruses, too” are only fanning the jihadist flames. We are on the verge of a full-out retributive tech assault, people! In fact, it is already underway. And trust me, if the culprits for MacDefender can’t be singled out, PC users will systematically be digitally tortured until someone confesses. If, God forbid, in the end the culprit is discovered to be a Mac insider, then the retribution will rock the globe in its swift barbarity.

Let’s be clear. This isn’t a virus. It isn’t even a worm or a trojan or any of the typical critters PC users have become accustomed to getting pantsed by on a daily basis. (How can so many bizarre entities exist under one circuit board, anyway?) We’re talking about a malicious scam-bot attempting to shuck and jive its way into your 0’s and 1’s. So here is how we should all respond to this crisis (the potential for global cyber-jihad):

Mac Users: Don’t pay any attention to MacDefender. Why should you? They are only trying to tempt you with virus protection and crap you know you don’t need anyway. Secondly, don’t go ballistic and start slapping Dell and HP executives on the subway. You know the culprits are probably the same people behind the Rapture Pet Care service anyway.

PC Users: Don’t pour rocket fuel on the fire by calling up all your Mac buddies on your Blackberries and saying insane crap like, “Now who has to spend two hours every Friday night fleecing their personal computers of a butt-munch-worth of malware?” (Just because you have nothing better to do on a Friday night while your anti-virus software does its thing.)[divider]

So please, instead of flame wars and name-calling; Instead of sensational journalism and libel; Let’s all extend the USB cable of peace and return the status quo–a world of PC users harboring bitter envy and Mac users full of elitist snobbery (before it’s too late).