zombie

Apocalypse Month @ The Green Porch

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Four Horsemen of ApocalypseYeehaw! all you fatalists and fans of apocalyptical madness. Over the next month The Green Porch will be discussing all things end times from the fantastical to fanatical to depressing to hilarious, and how these things can impact the quality of our lives in the here and now.

So whether you are interested in which vegetables to plant in your end times garden or how to stave off zombie attack, tune in all month for pithy wisdom and to participate in reader polls, etc.

Today we’ll kick it all off by discussing the most common versions of apocalypse, and which you personally think is most likely to happen.

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The Redneck Granola’s Code for Living

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Zombieland Movie PosterIn today’s amoral world it seems the majority of folk wander the surface of the earth as if trying for the part of an extra on the Zombieland set. Unsure of how to deal with or construct nuanced moral values, we instead bounce around life aimlessly while mumbling, “brains, must have brains.”

But trust me, eating brains don’t do a damn bit of good in making a lad smarter. So in response to the sparkling void of moral verisimilitude I’ve prepared my Redneck Granola’s Code for Living–three rock solid rules you can take to the bank. No complicated philosophies or insincere scams intent on making jerks likable or transforming chumps into champs. Just wisdom too simple to be comprehended by most.

(You have to think in a lower wavelength. Like the spectrum of light invisible to the naked eye, there’s a spectrum of thought unthinkable to those with too much brains. Just whack yourself in the head a couple of times with a bottle and keep reading.)

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