350! Spartans and Global Warming

Their can be glory in death.  It is true.  But Lord, not in a prolonged, asthma induced suffocation due to a humanly inhabitable planet.  But never fear!  350 is here!  Bill McKibben is still alive and kicking, and while he ain’t no Leonidas, he along with alot of others have started up 350.org.  The movement and the number are based on the report put forward by the NASA climatologist guy (James Hansen) in 2007 that said that if we don’t reduce the amount of CO2 we are pumping into the atmosphere to below 350 parts per million and pronto we will be screwed (meaning human life could meet some rather sucky hurdles of death).

So we may not be as screwed as the Spartans were when it came to the battle of Thermopylae, but we aren’t helping our cause any by sitting around on our methane exuding asses.  I mean come on.  McKibben wrote his first book on Global Warming 20 years ago when it was still a farce.  Now, the enemy of our indeference and affluence has loomed much nearer, and we need to respond.

Now before you cast off into the world of finger-pointing and accusation saying, “China! China and India! Those bastards.  What can we do?”  or even, “Belize! Those slash and burn maggots!” It is time to take some of our own medicine.  Here in the grand ole U.S. of A. we consume more carbon emitting energy per capita than anyone else on the planet.  I know.  Even more than the tea swilling Brits.  Americans pump off twice as much carbon per person than Europeans do and four times more than the Chinese.

Yes, we are going to need China and India to back off on their mad quest to follow in our footsteps.  Yes we will need small-fry countries around the world to stand up against us and the other developed countries to defend the last vital remaining resources in the world.  But we will also need to use hand-cranked espresso machines in the morning, and learn to grow some hemp under a strategically placed shade screen in the back yard.  (Note to DEA:  I don’t grow hemp under a shade screen in my back yard.  I don’t have a shade screen, or a backyard.  I promise.)

We have been world leaders in Global Warming so far.  Why stop now?  350, prepare for glory!