Zombies, Run! Audio Adventure and Run Game

Zombies, Run!This is the coolest thing since self-check-out at the grocery store. It’s almost enough to make me want to exercise. Well, not really. But if you are the compulsive type who simply has to burn calories while accomplishing absolutely nothing of value other than burning calories (what kind of world thinks this is a good thing?), then this application is for you.

Zombies, Run! is a jogging/running exercise enhancement application available at the iTunes store. (Coming to Android soon.) Download the app, customize it with your own music playlist and then start running. The app includes a storyline that plays out while you run. (Stuff like, “I thought we cleared that sector! They’re coming your way, runner #5! Run!)

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Top 5 Pre-Apocalyptic Vacations

Machu PicchuToday’s post is intended to encourage all of us apoc-junkies to step back from the brink while time still permits. During apocalypse month The Green Porch has brought the blogosphere many great posts such as: Build your Post-Apocalyptic Compound with Hemcrete, Apocalyptic Gardening, and Top 5 Cities Incase of Apocalypse.

All of that culminates today with our final salute to our certain future. In a vein of optimism The Green Porch would like to generate discussion over the best locals for taking those last minute pre-apocalypse get-aways. After all, one of the best ways to spend our last days, weeks, months (or maybe years) on the civilized and non-radiated, mutant infested, kill-bot patrolled home we call earth, is and should be… travel. [Read more...]

Investing for the Apocalypse

Pink and the BrainEnd times portfolios can be tricky animals, especially when so much uncertainty exists as to what form the end will take. After all, if Al Gore is right then maybe Spielberg’s Pinky and the Brain had the right idea when they bought up all the property on the planet thirteen floors up and higher. But if alien invasion is to initiate our demise, then perhaps an underground cavern in the wilderness would be more appropriate.

So, with all this apocalyptic diversity in mind, here are some universal investment principles you can (pun intended) take to the bank.

1.) Cash is king, until it isn’t. When it comes to the apocalypse, most people expect a sudden cataclysm. But this is simply a result of Hollywood run amuck. In reality the end will most likely look more like our current situation. [Read more...]

Continuing Ed, Apocalypse Style

blacksmith silhouette greeceWe’er all familiar with the scenario. Whether it’s on a raft, a desert island or a post-apocalyptic plains community, the results are the same. When it boils down to the nuts and bolts of survival, those with skills regarded as indispensable are kept alive while those seen as redundant or unnecessary are cast aside.

This indisputable fact is why it’s important to begin your apocalypse skill set training today. Yes, we all know you majored in political science with an emphasis in Middle Eastern affairs, or that you aced Anatomy and Physiology on your third try. But unless you learned anything about navigating feuds between rivaling warlords or you can identify and process the most nutritious parts of the human body, you probably haven’t done much to ensure being picked for Team Survival when Armageddon comes. [Read more...]

Checklist for Upcoming Apocalypse

zombie checklistSurprisingly, despite all the nights you’ve spent awake mentally preparing for the apocalypse, there are almost certainly things you’ve forgotten to take into account. Today we’ll deal with the most commonly forgotten elements of end times preparation. Because once the plumes of ash are rising into the stratosphere you don’t want to remember you’ve left your Breathe Right strips in your glovebox (outside the safety perimeter).
7.) Weather stripping: I can’t stress how important this simple task is. Granolas and “Herm the Thermwise guy” have been telling you to do this for years now and you’re still putting it off. But as the toxic fog that turns you inside out creeps through the cracks around your rattling windows you’ll be wishing you hadn’t. [Read more...]

Top 5 American Cities in Case of Apocalypse

Utah State SealFor all you really forward thinkers out there, it is time to consider a change of residence based on the best spots to live out the end of the world as we know it. As any fan of apocalyptic or post-apocalyptic fiction or film knows, the last places you want to be are NYC or anywhere in the UK. Those places are where the Biblical crap hits the meat grinder of humankind’s jackasseriness first and foremost.

But what U.S. cities will be most likely to remain on the back burner of Armageddon? Where can prepared individuals move for a leisurely pace of mutation while the rest of the world rakes each other’s eyes out in fast forward? What if one wants to get away from the cockroach race? Well, you’re in luck. Today we hash out the best places in the U.S. to set down the tent poles and ride out the world ending wave even before it arrives. [Read more...]

Apocalyptic Gardening

attack of killer tomatoWhen the end of civilization comes knocking you don’t want to be stuck scrambling for Alpo among the zombie hordes at Albertsons. The best means to ensure a continuous supply of foodstuffs throughout the apocalypse is to plant a healthy end times garden full of the essentials. In this post I’ll cover the basics of apocalyptic gardening.

Location: Don’t go planting your new garden in your backyard. That’s the first place resentful neighbors will ransack, and as much as you might try, you probably won’t be able to kill them all. [Read more...]