How T.V.’s Survivor Wins the Nobel Prize for Peace

North Korean Soldier - Eric Lafforge
North Korean Soldier - by Eric Lafforge

T.V. has long suckled at humankind’s proverbial teat. The time has come for the madam of Babylon to contribute toward sustaining the world that has made her (with something other than the 22 fine seasons of the Simpsons).

These days everyone is getting in on the act. Chevrolet is planting trees faster than cars can crash into them, and British Petroleum is building gas stations that run on solar power (weird, I know).

What better platform for Hollywood to use to do its part than reality T.V.? I’m talking about something significant, well beyond their current environmental policy of using locally grown, organic soy milk in their lattes. Survivor, North Korea.

Now before you get the wrong idea, I’m not talking espionage here. I’m talking diplomacy and aid at its best.

With the permission of the North Korean “Club House”, military and proletariat we drop off a mixed cast and crew of joe-punch-clocks and global celebrities (including the likes of Bono, Joe the Plummer, Jimmy Carter, Lady Gaga, Jackie Chan and others). After recruiting some locals they divide into tribes and duke it out.

But instead of silly games like “hot lava” or “bikini swamp” the contestants compete by planting rice paddies or evacuating families into South Korea. The losers have to disarm a nuclear device. The winners gain immunity from torture after the show.

It provides gaggles of positive media for North Korea and allows T.V. to give something back. The best part is, that during these hard economic times, we succeed in funding the largest diplomatic and foreign aid effort of the decade through a private source. Fox, CBS, ABC and NBC I expect you to be listening. Seriously, who wouldn’t tune in for show like this?

Next season tune in for Survivor Chernobyl, The Amazing Race Detroit, and Extreme Home Makeover with Hempcrete.

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