American Flag Waving, Hemp Style

Here at the Green Porch it’s my duty every now and then to remind y’all that you’re killing the earth and dooming human kind to hell.

Whether its due to driving an SUV, implanting a cell phone chip in your brain or refusing to give up Survivor-style reality TV, we are, each of us, brewing our own stew of the end times. But hey, with a little Worcestershire that stew could have some real zing.

On a preventative note, this last week was the fourth annual Hemp History Week. By golly it was an American-flag-waving celebration of the sort of manifest destiny that made this nation great. Are you going to spend another year sitting around in your cotton briefs allowing those Washington bureaucrats to tell you what you can and can’t farm in your raised garden beds? [Read more…]

One True Pants: Anniversary and Wake

bowed headWe’ve done it. The process has taken every bit of tensile strength OTP could muster. But the day has come. It’s official. OneTruePants are dead. Long live OneTruePants.

At midnight tonight it will have been 365 days that the same pair of hemp pants have adorned my blessed lower half. (Heroic music begins as OTP montage rolls.) We’ve had some great times together, and nothing less than the glory of the afterlife will be able to fill the drafty emptiness OTP will leave behind (in all our hearts). But the pants are truly spent.

Through summer heat, winter chill, dirty diapers, spit-up, diarrhea, dog bite, roofing, demolition, wine, chocolate, chili and BBQ, dancing, laughing, crying, two weddings and a funeral, my one true pants have been my rod and my comforter (wait, that sounds familiar). [Read more…]