David Mark Brown, Author at David Mark Brown

Redneck Sustainability: Two-finger wave

November 3, 2010 by David Mark Brown

In urban areas the standard greeting between motorists is usually the one-figure salute. You know, digitus impudicus, the bird, the middle finger mambo. And why the hell not? It communicates so much about our modern, metrosexual, urbanista lifestyle without even having to say a word, and from the safety and comfort of our H3, Bimmer or Smartcar.

No more need for, “Hey, nice move, you jackass,” or “Where did you learn to drive? The South Central Academy of Driving Arts for the Stupid Jackass?!” In these ecourban days we just fly the bird, or the double bird if on a strait away, and continue to ram our foot down on the pedal. Well, rural Americans have a different way.

Texas = Gas + Wind

October 29, 2010 by David Mark Brown

Thomas_Boone_Pickens — T. Boone Pickens by Steve Jurvetson

T. Boone Pickens was right to push his Pickens Plan if for one key reason alone: Texas is the capital for gas and wind. Can I hear an amen? I mean we Texans understand how to generate seemingly endless gas and wind. Y’all know I’m right.

Now here in Texas most of us have already concluded that the coincidence of T. Boone owning lots of natural gas and steadily increasing his production of wind while promoting his plan of powering America with said resources is a bit too fortunate for T. Boone’s bottom to be completely altruistic. (Did I just leave “line” off of “bottom?” Whoops.) Altruism aside, Pickens may actually be right.

Meet protagonist whipping boy, Joseph King

October 20, 2010 by David Mark Brown

(Continued from previous post)
In the movie, Easy Rider, two motorcycle buddies drive from California to New Orleans. Their path that goes right across the great state of Texas where I was born and raised. As crazy as Dennis Hopper was in his insistence of using real rednecks in the filming he refused to ride and film through Texas declaring it suicide and “just too damn crazy.” Instead they drove around and then filmed the critical diner scene in Louisiana. Here they found locals and simply prompted them to say whatever they were thinking. The locals did an excellent job and had no trouble coming up with slurs and insults to hurl at Hopper and Fonda while the tape rolled.

Five years before my birth, was it really that dangerous for someone with long hair to ride a motorcycle cross the state? A guy as insane and as baked as Dennis Hopper finds the thought of riding a motorcycle through Texas inconceivable? Wow. In the late eighties, growing up in small town Texas, I wanted nothing more than to have long hair (although I never wanted a motorcycle). I couldn’t believe how narrowly removed I had grown up from such radical hatred, fear and bigotry. Jasper, Texas wasn’t that far away.

I knew that Texans where mocked and reviled on the ski slopes of Colorado and that most people in general dubbed us as loud-mouthed rednecks. But that was all O.K. with me.