I Like Family Movies Now

Welcome to old age, right? Or is this the beginning of the Mork years? (Remember the alien that aged backwards? Oh, right, of course you don’t, because it happened over three decades ago.)

Truth is, I knew over a decade ago that I no longer fit in the target audience for contemporary film makers. When American Pie hit the top of the charts, I knew the era of Animal House was long gone. So I’ve had some time to get used to it.

This past Friday, the wife and I off-loaded our kids on some unsuspecting panhandlers that look nice enough in order to execute the classic-dinner-and-a-movie-date-night. The dinner decision was easy enough–Chinese place we haven’t tried yet, General Tso’s Chicken, extra spice.

But what movie to see? Heck, neither of us had a clue as to what movies where showing. Who has time for movie trailers anymore? A cursory search revealed a shiz-load of crap. Stuff like this:

Then I landed on a movie poster for The Guardians of the Galaxy. More importantly, I found a review that said, “Think of Firefly aimed at fifteen-year-olds.” That totally sold me. Only later did I see that the movie was a Disney flick pitched as a “family film.”

Great. I’m seeing a family picture on my hot date night. Nothing could be lamer, right?

Wrong. Guardians of the Galaxy was brilliantly funny, light-hearted and uproarious. My wife and I held hands and laughed harder than we have in a long while. Badass quips like “I’m distracting you, you big turd blossom” rank right up next to famous lines like “Yippee ki yay, mother f*$%er!”

My wife even claimed it’s the best movie she’s seen in years. How is this possible? I can’t even remember a kiss in the entire movie. Oh well. I’ve arrived at the phase of life my father warned me of. He hasn’t seen a movie that wasn’t animated in like 30 years. I’m not quite to that point. But if the “Family Movie” phase includes more flicks like Guardians, I’m happy about getting older. Bring on the ass kicking raccoons.