Gorram and Other Redneck Chinese

Map of the 'verse
Map of the 'verse

I know some of you (certainly not me. I have better things to do, like macaroni art) have spent time trying to interpret the slang expletives of the one-season sensation, Firefly. Browncoats, frothing fans of the show who refuse to accept that it was canceled, or even fiction (because it’s not), know that the phrases are Chinese. But the common expletive “gorram” remains mysterious to most.

[dropcap2]I[/dropcap2]’m here to set the record straight. As a reputable provocateur and man of high journalistic integrity I use only the most trusted sources in the fabricating gathering of my knowledge before disseminating it to you. But first, a reality check.

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Firefly: a Conspiracy Theory

Serenity from T.V.'s Firefly
Serenity from T.V.’s Firefly

In case you are unaware, the best show on T.V. to never finish a single season is incontestably and unarguably Firefly. It aired and was cancelled in 2002. Many diehard, Firefly freekies will tell you the show was cancelled due to conflicts from the creator working on another show, or due to the fact the first two episodes were mysteriously aired out of order (as in not first).

Stick in the mud types will tell you that it was due to low ratings. (Pshaw.) I’m here today to tell you the truth. Bipartisan politics. (Who would have thought such a thing possible this day and age.)

Bipartisan Politics Cancelled Firefly

You see, the plot line for Firefly is about a browncoat independent who fights for civil liberties in order to stick it to the man by encouraging a free-trade economy based on bartering and simple living and implemented by a diverse, bipartisan crew of federation outsiders. (I know. How did the creators ever think they would get away with such a thing?)

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