Take This Tax and Smoke It

prohibition 18th amendment posterThe Redneck Granola does not condone the use of illegal drugs. The Redneck Granola does not condone a regressive tax structure. How, you may ask, do these things fit together?

In the midst of the U.S.’s first credit rating downgrade amongst a mountain of bellyaching from our mole hill Congress, I think the common Jolene Smolene needs a common sense solution. That common sense solution is a new spin on an old favorite–the sin tax.

Ah, the taxation of sin. What could be better for a self-righteous nation such as ours? I dare say it would be an injustice to not spread the tax guilt beyond America’s poor drinkers and tobacco smokers. I mean, how can it be fair to tax the bejebus out of our poor nicotine addicted brothers and sisters while taking nary a cent from all the tokers and marijuana smokers?

That’s right. I’m talking about taxing our way out of the redonculous death-slide our ignorance and lethargy has embraced, via legalizing marijuana. Before you dismiss me as a midnight-blogger with the munchies, consider the precedent. Oddly enough, it appears that our beloved Congress has used the repeal of prohibition combined with heavy taxation to help fund government revenues once before.

Some historians claim that the repeal of the 18th Amendment held no steam whatsoever until Federal income taxes began to dry up drastically during the Great Depression. All of a sudden a sullen Congress came to life with passionate pleas to repeal Prohibition (cough, cough. And start raking in tax revenues from alcohol transport and sales like before). Why should only the gangsters get rich? Makes sense to me.

There is an impassioned minority making the same plea today, and I’m not talking about ganja smoking Scooby Doo fans. I’m talking about fiscal conservatives demanding no new income tax hikes for the middle class, or upper class (or anyone with class). These folk propose instead we quietly and self-sacrificially give in to the legalization of marijuana (cough cough), and then tax the snot out of it.

And as the Redneck Granola I’m all for it. We here at the Green Porch enjoy a snifter of Port (dixie cup of box wine) as much as the next guy. And you know, I don’t even mind paying high taxes to get it. Sure I believe wine to be my God given right, but I can always make my own if I don’t want to pay tax on it. Otherwise let my sinful habits pay for the removal of spray painted depravities on local park benches. (And to pay off our global creditors before we start mortgaging our national parks and monuments to privately owned corporations based in Dubai).[divider]

So instead of futile arguments over raising taxes vs. cutting government spending (both of which are necessary and neither of which will substantially happen), let’s tell our politicians to, “take this tax and smoke it.”

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