Tis the season for occupation. And why not? I’m occupying my chair as I type. From Wall Street to Walmart, I say it’s time for hardworking and hard-complaining American citizens to get to occupying.
The only problem I keep running into is that I don’t know how to occupy an ideal or a concept. I’d love to occupy greed or corruption in order to break it’s will, bust it down to mere covetousness, slap it around a little and toss it to the curb. But it’s not exactly like occupying a Honey Bucket. There’s no latch on the door that switches from ‘vacant’ to ‘occupied’ (as far as I can tell).
But then again, it’s not like Wall Street or corporate greed or whatever entity we’re invading was actually vacant to begin with. So I guess what we’re talking about here is a relocation program of some sort–removing half of the venture capitalists and day traders to replace them with what? Dissidents? Hippies? That hardly seems any better. We can’t have the trading floor resounding with “Sell! Sell! Kill! Kill! while the rest of the group gets the munchies, now can we?
Then it struck me. The answer to all of our occupation needs. Start a national lottery. No, not the powerball, scratch and sniff kind usually involving a pack of Marlboros and a nudey magazine. I’m talking about a relocation lottery. Take every unemployed American who wishes to sign up and throw their names into a big sombrero. Take the names of all the evil, greed-industry workers (they know who they are) and put them in a big crystal punch bowl, or a Nambe bowl shaped like the Flight of the Navigator.
Then on prime time FOX have Donald Trump start pulling out names. Just have America’s favorite celebrity rich dude keep pulling out names of the unemployed and the wicked until half of all the people working on Wall Street (do we have that number written down somewhere?) have been relocated to what ever unemployed job field the other guy used to occupy.
The whole thing could be the next big reality TV show craze. Call it, “Wall Street, You’re Fired!” The Donald could get his pointing finger all flexed and ready to give the ouster to a few hundred people a week. The camera could record families reactions, and even do a follow up to show how all the new traders are getting along or how the new burger flippers were doing.[divider]
It’s a win, win, lose. But the people who lose are the ones the 99% want to lose, so that makes it a win. And nothing helps perk up the unemployed and down-on-their-luck-like a reality TV show starring misfortune and Donald Trump.