Wear a Loincloth. Save Your Brains.

Loincloth posterAt the risk of breaking some unspoken taboo around saying the word loincloth too frequently for modern society, I’m coming forward with the end all solution to air travel security.

I mean, am I the only one freaking out over the rash (two) of contrived UEDs (undergarment explosive devices)? How can this stand? And what sort of security molestation will we be subject to next?

All travelers upon commercial airlines should be required to wear a standard uniform–the loincloth.

But never fear. There is a simple solution. [Read more...]

One True Loincloth

the glorious loincloth

what I will look like in my OTL

For over nine months I have been wearing the same pair of hemp pants, known to history as One True Pants. I mention this now only because my folly, or the limitation of my vision, has become known to me. To wear the same pair of hemp pants for years is indeed sustainable. Hemp fiber requires less water, chemicals and vital nutrients from the soil to grow and process than cotton (otherwise known around the Brown household as “the poison weed that embraces my loins”).

But, how could I have been so small-minded? So short-sighted? During the time that I have worn (and will continue to wear) the one true pants my nether regions have indeed been shielded by cotton. The blessed hemp fabric of the OTP has been insulted by the mocking ridicule of my Jockeys. [Read more...]