Geeking out at Wild Wild West Con

steam powered giraffe
Steam Powered Giraffe at Wild West Con

[dropcap2]A[/dropcap2] couple of months ago I came out of the shower. Now it’s time I come out of the locker room. (Gasp! What will he come out of next?”) You see, I played high school sports, but it turns out I’ve been a geek at heart all along. Now there’s no denying it. I’ve attended my very first con (nerd lingo for “conference”).

Albeit it wasn’t the legendary San Diego Comic-Con, but it was great fun nonetheless. While wearing a serape and sombrero I sipped cheap Cabernet from a clear plastic cup, surrounded by scads of brethren and sistren bedecked in various wild Western or Victorian English attire.

At first the connecting thread alluded me. My new friends included a lawyer, an IT professional, a musician, college students, retired homemakers, a dancer, a nurse, a librarian, etc. Some in their second decade of living, some in their fifth. What could possibly bond these people together? Until finally I seized upon it — inner geek.

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The Weird West Reboot

TV's The Wild, Wild West

[dropcap2]I[/dropcap2]n the 1960’s, as the American genre of the Western guttered in its final death throes, a new sort of Western birthed onto the scene replacing the Wild West with what has become known as the Weird West. Most prominently, the Weird West is defined by its landmark accomplishment, CBS Studio’s The Wild Wild West.

Aside: After my last post, it has come to my attention that several of you, my faithful readers, have begun to question the lucidity of my waking state (and whether mind-altering substances might be involved). But I assure you, the indelibility of my turpitude is purely natural (and more importantly, untransferable).

Unsurprisingly, considering the fact that CSI’s newest show will be based in Lake Wobegon (just kidding, it’s probably going to end up being Seattle) CBS has resorted to rebooting old favorites. This season they gave us the chance to feel the sun and surf course through our veins as we lip sync the gritty phrase, “Book ’em, Danno.” It appears that for the coming season, attempts will be made to revive The Wild Wild West, the poster child of all that is weird with westerns.

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The Wild West Meets the What If

Dr. Arliss Loveless from The Wild, Wild West

Months ago, while taking my weekly shower, it struck me — the answer to the question that keeps most of us up at night: “What happens when a power hungry petro-oligarchy runs amuck of an anarcho-capitalist wild west?” (And no, the answer isn’t George W. Bush.)

(Warning: small children or readers who suffer from repetitive nightmare disorder should continue reading with their hands over their eyes.)

What happens? The most ruthless and powerful geopolitical state since the Roman Empire. That’s what happens. Known as Texicas, the petrodollar-fueled nation shatters the already unstable Americas by rising to power through a post-revolution Mexican government allied with an infiltrated Texas state legislature that votes to succeed in the year 1921. Just think, in an alternate history not so different from our own I could be a third generation Texican.

Obviously, Louisiana has no choice but to acquiesce to lingering frustration over the War of Northern Aggression, and thus joins Texicas in its new independence.

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