Top 5 Pre-Apocalyptic Vacations

Machu PicchuToday’s post is intended to encourage all of us apoc-junkies to step back from the brink while time still permits. During apocalypse month The Green Porch has brought the blogosphere many great posts such as: Build your Post-Apocalyptic Compound with Hemcrete, Apocalyptic Gardening, and Top 5 Cities Incase of Apocalypse.

All of that culminates today with our final salute to our certain future. In a vein of optimism The Green Porch would like to generate discussion over the best locals for taking those last minute pre-apocalypse get-aways. After all, one of the best ways to spend our last days, weeks, months (or maybe years) on the civilized and non-radiated, mutant infested, kill-bot patrolled home we call earth, is and should be… travel.

Post apocalypse travel will inevitably degenerate into regional bloodsport by day and a nightmarish exercise in death-wishing haunted by spectral voices of the past by night. So if you think full-body imaging at the airport is invasive, just be grateful your brains aren’t being sucked out through your ear via mutant hummingbirds the size and temperament of Kobe Bryant.

That being said, here are the Porch’s top suggestions for pre-apocalypse vacationing:

5.) Machu Picchu ~ this place is just cool. Plus, it’s a blast to say. Try it out. Sweet, right? And when the end comes, a little knowledge of Peruvian mountains couldn’t hurt.

4.) The Great Barrier Reef ~ we all know that Australia will become the thunderdome capital of the new apocalypse ravaged Earth. Even getting near the reef will be impossible due to constant throw downs between Costner and Gibson loyalists. (Plus it’ll be full of Japan’s dirty laundry and crap that gets washed away as the oceans rise.)

3.) Emirate of Dubai ~ as a contrast to ruins or locations of natural beauty, this place screams to be seen before it’s filled with roving zombies. Plus, it is the grandest visible record of the hubris of mankind that is currently ushering in the apocalypse.

2.) Ankor Watt ~ I just really want to see this, and how expensive could a stay in Cambodia be? Any country that has endured the “Killing Fields” deserves a few pre-apocalyptic tourism dollars.

1.) Montenegro ~ If it’s good enough for 007, then it’s good enough for me. And sometimes a vacation is best spent all in one place. Travel here and you can dedicate a great vacation to a country small enough to be able to take the whole thing in.

Wherever you travel, The Green Porch suggests you use the time to enjoy family and/or friends. Take in fascinating aspects of our world’s history and cultures that will soon be lost amid clouds of nuclear fallout and virus-induced madness. It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad world out there, so get out and enjoy it. While you are at it, shoot us a comment on where you plan on spending your final vacation.

About David Mark Brown

Writer. Novelist. Redneck. Granola. Raised on a Texas cattle ranch and schooled at the U of Montana (Berkeley of the Rockies), I am the world’s most self-proclaimed redneck granola and author of optimistic-dystopian dieselpunk, sci-fi thrillers and young adult literature.

Comments

  1. I’m gonna visit Stonehenge. And maybe when I enter those hallowed rocks, I’ll be sucked back in time and never have to worry about this apocalyptic stuff. :)

    • David Mark Brown says:

      That actually sounds like a good plan. Leave a letter buried somewhere for me to find, so I can read about how it is going/went. (Time travel is trippy…)

Speak Your Mind

*