The Green Porch Archives - Page 10 of 30

Investing for the Apocalypse

October 10, 2011 by David Mark Brown

End times portfolios can be tricky animals, especially when so much uncertainty exists as to what form the end will take. After all, if Al Gore is right then maybe Spielberg’s Pinky and the Brain had the right idea when they bought up all the property on the planet thirteen floors up and higher. But if alien invasion is to initiate our demise, then perhaps an underground cavern in the wilderness would be more appropriate.

So, with all this apocalyptic diversity in mind, here are some universal investment principles you can (pun intended) take to the bank.

1.) Cash is king, until it isn’t. When it comes to the apocalypse, most people expect a sudden cataclysm. But this is simply a result of Hollywood run amuck. In reality the end will most likely look more like our current situation.

Continuing Ed, Apocalypse Style

October 6, 2011 by David Mark Brown

We’er all familiar with the scenario. Whether it’s on a raft, a desert island or a post-apocalyptic plains community, the results are the same. When it boils down to the nuts and bolts of survival, those with skills regarded as indispensable are kept alive while those seen as redundant or unnecessary are cast aside.

This indisputable fact is why it’s important to begin your apocalypse skill set training today. Yes, we all know you majored in political science with an emphasis in Middle Eastern affairs, or that you aced Anatomy and Physiology on your third try. But unless you learned anything about navigating feuds between rivaling warlords or you can identify and process the most nutritious parts of the human body, you probably haven’t done much to ensure being picked for Team Survival when Armageddon comes.

Checklist for Upcoming Apocalypse

October 4, 2011 by David Mark Brown

Surprisingly, despite all the nights you’ve spent awake mentally preparing for the apocalypse, there are almost certainly things you’ve forgotten to take into account. Today we’ll deal with the most commonly forgotten elements of end times preparation. Because once the plumes of ash are rising into the stratosphere you don’t want to remember you’ve left your Breathe Right strips in your glovebox (outside the safety perimeter).

7.) Weather stripping: I can’t stress how important this simple task is. Granolas and “Herm the Thermwise guy” have been telling you to do this for years now and you’re still putting it off. But as the toxic fog that turns you inside out creeps through the cracks around your rattling windows you’ll be wishing you hadn’t.