The Green Porch Archives - Page 11 of 30

Top 5 American Cities in Case of Apocalypse

April 30, 2012September 29, 2011 by David Mark Brown

Utah State Seal For all you really forward thinkers out there, it is time to consider a change of residence based on the best spots to live out the end of the world as we know it. As any fan of apocalyptic or post-apocalyptic fiction or film knows, the last places you want to be are NYC or anywhere in the UK. Those places are where the Biblical crap hits the meat grinder of humankind’s jackasseriness first and foremost.

But what U.S. cities will be most likely to remain on the back burner of Armageddon? Where can prepared individuals move for a leisurely pace of mutation while the rest of the world rakes each other’s eyes out in fast forward? What if one wants to get away from the cockroach race? Well, you’re in luck. Today we hash out the best places in the U.S. to set down the tent poles and ride out the world ending wave even before it arrives.

Apocalyptic Gardening

September 26, 2011 by David Mark Brown

When the end of civilization comes knocking you don’t want to be stuck scrambling for Alpo among the zombie hordes at Albertsons. The best means to ensure a continuous supply of foodstuffs throughout the apocalypse is to plant a healthy end times garden full of the essentials. In this post I’ll cover the basics of apocalyptic gardening.

Location: Don’t go planting your new garden in your backyard. That’s the first place resentful neighbors will ransack, and as much as you might try, you probably won’t be able to kill them all.

Build your Post-Apocalyptic Compound with Hemcrete

September 22, 2011 by David Mark Brown

When acid rain starts to fall, mutant scorpions attack and marauding wackos try to eat your flesh you don’t want to find yourself holing up in a ramshackle farm house or an abandoned flat in NYC or London. You’re going to need a practical yet functional fortress to weather the decades of madness until the dove returns with the olive branch in its beak.

To build said fortress you’ll need to consider security, self-sustainability and endurance. The answer to all three is, you guessed it, hemcrete. (Start bugging your representatives to legalize the growing of hemp now, so you can start construction before the end comes.) Hemcrete is a bio-composite building material made by mixing specially prepared hemp shiv with a lime-based binder (Montana Hemp Council Magazine, Vol. 4, 2011).

Basically, this means hemcrete is made from cooked lime and ground up hemp stalks. But the result is as zombie proof, fire proof, mutant bug proof, bullet proof, mohawk proof dwelling.