Redneck Sustainability: Federal Castration Day Vs. Vegetarian Ranching

steerCalf fry anyone?  Do you think Obama knows what a Rocky Mountain Oyster is?  Cause I think it might be time for a little testicle festival.  I hope it is o.k. that I cross politics with sustainability for this blog entry.  Hey, there should be such a thing as sustainable politics, shouldn’t there?

First off, I have to admit, I am pretty much a libertarian — a redneck, granola, libertarian.  I got my first lessons in politics on the ranch, and if you plan on running a productive beef ranch you have to make the decision to allow only the most virile and quality male cattle reproduce.  The vast majority of the male heard it “cut” or castrated before they are a year old.  These steers are sent off to the feedlot and the meet packing plant.  Only the select few are allowed to become full grown bulls and guide the genetic future of the heard.

Now I don’t mean to be crass, but this is the way you gotta’ run a nation.  If the goal of ranching were to have a bunch of healthy, well adjusted and emotionally stable cattle for “putting out to pasture” then a socialist program could succeed.  If your goal is to produce quality beef only the libertarian approach will do.  Europe has been ranching the socialist way for decades now.  That is why their outlook on life can only be described (in the redneck lexicon) as “vegetarian.”  Much of the developed world seems to be jumping on board with the vegetarian ranching way of life — healthy, happy and well-adjusted, but with no beef.

But what the U.S. does is beef.  It is what we are.  We are meat eaters, innovators, bold and daring “grab the bull by the horns”ers.  Let others sit around and nibble grass and quibble about tolerance and diversity in regards to current peoples and trends.  We make the peoples and the trends.  We run cattle.  Now sure a lot of people are going to lose their nuts while only a few rule the heard.  But that is why the redneck invented the Sunday Calf Fry or the Testicle Festival.  (Actually, I am not sure who invented this, but I am guessing it wasn’t a hippy.)

Make it a celebration.  That is what we are in need of now.  Lots of weak companies in the U.S. need to be cut.  But waste not want not.  Call up the friends and relatives (especially the unemployed ones) and celebrate the taking of corporate balls with a B-B-Q and a picnic.   The strong companies that survive will run the economy better than the pathetic, wobbly-kneed companies that are bound for the packing plant eventually.  It’s the libertarian way.  It’s the redneck way.  It’s the American way.

Now don’t get me wrong, the government has a role just like the rancher does.  He builds fences and pastures.  He puts the bulls in with the cows at a certain time and removes them at another.  He regulates the herd.  If a certain bull goes feral and starts tearing through too many fences or goring other bulls then that bull might get shot.  It’s not a free-for-all, and it’s not a fair-for-all.  Sure, it’s painful as hell sometimes, but it is possible that what is detrimental to the many (steers getting their nuts cut off) can be beneficial to the whole (a stronger and healthier herd).  Cowboy up, Obama.  Cowboy up.

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