Freelance Arguer for Hire (book a performance today!)

arguingOh the joys of a good argument. I’m thinking about going freelance. Not as an arbiter, but an arguer. Not to toot my own horn, but I’m pretty good at it. Better than you anyway. (Oh yeah? Takes one to know one. So there.)

Any chimp who knows ASL can arbitrate. What the world needs during these unstable times are some good, knock down, drag out arguments that end with everyone a winner. How, you may ask, is such a ridiculous thing possible? (Oh, so I’m ridiculous now? Well, if you didn’t have nougat for brains– sorry, sorry. It just comes so natural.) You see dear reader, I’m talking about surrogate arguers–professionals, like me (or like I will be once I design a certificate and print it off).

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