Jesus Christ

What Would Baby Jesus Do? 5 Ways to Simplify Christmas

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Mary and baby Jesus in Memphis
Mary and Baby Jesus, photo by Gary Bridgman

I am not the only one who has come to the conclusion in regards to the celebration of Christmas that if Jesus were alive today, he would be spinning in his grave.

Oh come on. If you can’t laugh just a little bit then you definitely need to read this post on creating a more sustainable Christmas, starting (just for you) with suggestion number…

5.) Don’t be a pretentious jerk. Next time your reading a poorly written and insulting blog (that incorrectly uses “your” in the place of “you’re”), stop and ask yourself, “WWBJD? What would baby Jesus do?”

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Jesus Christ, Captain Obvious?

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Buddy Christ
Buddy Christ from the movie Dogma

I don’t know about you, but from time to time I tend to be a praying man. Those times are usually when I’m bent over a barrel and my cheeks are getting red from life spanking me mercilessly. So you can understand my relief when as I was stumbling through the Gospel according to Matthew the other day I found a reference to a couple of guys who seemed to be a lot like me.

In chapter 20 we meet a couple of blind guys sitting by the road outside of Jericho. Now I image blindness is a sucky thing even today, but I can make an educated guess that it guaranteed a life of begging and scraping just to get by in first century Palestine. So these two guys are maybe sitting by a little fire lit with goat dung and eating crusty bread when a big crowd comes by.

At first they probably hope this means a few extra drachmas in the old guitar case. Then they figure out that the rock star of the roadshow is the guy they’ve been hearing about, Jesus of Nazareth. It’s basically like Little Debbie walking through the middle of fat camp. Right?

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