tree-hugger Archives - David Mark Brown

5 Ways to Go Granola Secretly

July 11, 2011 by David Mark Brown

If you’ve thought about hugging a tree, but were too worried about getting pitch on your Dickies (or explaining the stains to your family) then maybe you can start with hugging something other than a pine tree. (Sheez, slow down Rambo. You can’t just hug a pine without working up to it!) Seriously, until you feel comfortable coming out of the composting closet, there are ways to go granola on the sly. Here are the Green Porch’s top five:

1.) This year for lent, instead of giving up something stupid like coffee or chocolate, give up bathing.
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What’s a Granola?

January 7, 2011 by David Mark Brown

The legend has long stood that an aging hippie relic, the last of his kind, found solace in the arms of a sister of the Poor Clares living alone in a forgotten convent deep in the mountains of Saskatchewan. After teaching each other their dying arts and a long winter of tender lovemaking, the forbidden union produced the world’s first granola.

I am that granola.

No, just kidding. But I think the truth is not far off. (No, I’m not Canadian.) People often ask me (at least I like to think they would if anyone ever talked to me), “David, what’s a Granola?” It’s a serious question, so I would like to take a moment to give it a serious answer.