What Would Baby Jesus Do? 5 Ways to Simplify Christmas

Mary and baby Jesus in Memphis

Mary and Baby Jesus, photo by Gary Bridgman

I am not the only one who has come to the conclusion in regards to the celebration of Christmas that if Jesus were alive today, he would be spinning in his grave.

Oh come on. If you can’t laugh just a little bit then you definitely need to read this post on creating a more sustainable Christmas, starting (just for you) with suggestion number…

5.) Don’t be a pretentious jerk. Next time your reading a poorly written and insulting blog (that incorrectly uses “your” in the place of “you’re”), stop and ask yourself, “WWBJD? What would baby Jesus do?”

He would spit-up and fill his pants, that’s what he would do. And you should do no less. After you clean up from that try to remember to have a little grace for your fellow humans. After all, you’re not perfect either.

4.) Lower expectations from others and raise them for yourself. A family member insults you by asking when you’re due even though you’re not pregnant and you’re a man. WWBJD? He would coo and gurgle and burp, and that’s what you should do. Stay above the fray and compliment his or her Christmas sweater.

2.) Don’t be so uptight about following tradition or formality. Things will get out of order, forgotten or skipped over. No two celebrations can be alike, and they shouldn’t be. When nobody shows up to dinner with the only fricking kind of pie that matters, and your choices are mincemeat or shoofly, WWBJD? Take a nap. After that start a new tradition of baking brownies with the nieces and nephews.

1.) Don’t be a Dallas Cowboys fan. Seriously, they’ll just end up loosing to the Arizona Cardinals in overtime like they did two years ago in that horrible game where Romo and McBriar both got hurt. And I can think of a hundred ways baby Jesus would rather finish off a celebration of his birth than by watching a catastrophe like that. WWBJD? Root for a team like the Bears or the Jaguars and spend Christmas evening on a cause more worthy than the National Football League.

About David Mark Brown

Writer. Novelist. Redneck. Granola. Raised on a Texas cattle ranch and schooled at the U of Montana (Berkeley of the Rockies), I am the world’s most self-proclaimed redneck granola and author of optimistic-dystopian dieselpunk, sci-fi thrillers and young adult literature.

Comments

  1. I’m gonna violate suggestion number five and ask, where’s suggestion number three? :)

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