Dukes of Hazzard Parenting School

Jesse Duke
Parenting by Jesse Duke

What ever happened to raising polite hellions? Have parents either become so snooty or given up entirely such that there’s no longer room in our society for the “cram it, ma’am” or “Hell no, sir” mentality that once guided the formation of American youth?

This issue rose to the surface of my life like so much butterfat when my wife and I recently returned south after double digit years in the footloose Rocky Mountains. Was our two-year-old going to be taught to use ma’am and sir? “Hell yes, sir!” was my initial response. But my wife countered with a quandary. Will people think our son is weird when we inevitable wander back out into the larger American milieu?

“Cram it, Ma’am!” was my second response. But dang it all. My kids are going to have a hard enough time in life explaining their father’s behavior to their friends without using a bunch of folky platitudes and formal epithets. That’s when I realized this problem wasn’t my fault at all. It was everyone else’s.

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Redneck Sustainability: Chow-Chow

jars of chow-chow
sweat and spicy chow-chow relish

While not exclusively a redneck food, chow-chow (the relish, not the dog), is certainly championed most by the rural folk of America, and with no uncertainty, is one of the sustainable marvels of our day. Seriously.

For you see, chow-chow is indeed the kitchen sink of canning. For my rural-impaired readers I will need to pause here for some clarification. Let’s start with canning.

Canning, for you urban folk, refers to the practice of preserving freshly grown fruits and vegetables in glass jars for use throughout the year. It is in and of itself a very sustainable practice due to its reliance on local produce rather than off-season stuff shipped from Timbuktu via carbon-emitting yack. And don’t think for a second that the “vine-ripened” tomatoes you find in January are anything of the sort, unless you live in California or think ripe means something like “edible enough to withstand commercial harvesting, processing, shipping and retail sale over the next week).

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What Would Baby Jesus Do? 5 Ways to Simplify Christmas

Mary and baby Jesus in Memphis
Mary and Baby Jesus, photo by Gary Bridgman

I am not the only one who has come to the conclusion in regards to the celebration of Christmas that if Jesus were alive today, he would be spinning in his grave.

Oh come on. If you can’t laugh just a little bit then you definitely need to read this post on creating a more sustainable Christmas, starting (just for you) with suggestion number…

5.) Don’t be a pretentious jerk. Next time your reading a poorly written and insulting blog (that incorrectly uses “your” in the place of “you’re”), stop and ask yourself, “WWBJD? What would baby Jesus do?”

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