You Say Erotica, I Say Pornotica

GreenPorch Winter of eReadingIt’s been a great month of eVerse blog posts here on the Green Porch. Now that we dig deep into the closet of winter, we bid GPWeR  (GreenPorch Winter of eReading) farewell. But as a final parting shot across the bow I ask a serious question. (Fine. It’s not really serious. But I like to be dramatic. I’m a writer, dangit.)

Across the artistic board every medium perpetuates a certain lowbrow peep-show in perpetuity. That is to say, pornography is everywhere… except in fiction. You see, in fiction we have erotica. This got me to thinking. (Stop laughing. I think. On occasion.)

Why do people skim through nudey magazines, watch porno flicks and populate the internet with more pornography sites than there are McDonalds in the inner city, just to go off and read “erotica?” You and I both know the truth is they don’t. As sure as your soylent green, it’s porn, people!

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Filtering Porn Out of the eVerse

GreenPorch Winter of eReadingJust like the rest of the internet, the eBook eVerse consist hugely of porn. It is sorta the plankton of the eVerse — the simplest life form that feeds the mindless that in turn feed the suckers and bottom-dwellers who in turn feed the commercial fiction writers who feed the how-to-write-commercial-fiction writers who feed the I’m-too-sexy literati who feed themselves (as they cannibalize the top echelon with scathing reviews).

Hey, I didn’t create the life cycle. I’m just stating the fact that stuff always grows out of… how do the French say it… shit.

It’s not pretty, people. But with a little effort we can rise above the manure zone and better ourselves. But how, you may ask? Well here at the Green Porch we’ll tell you.

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Steampunk has been Steamy McSteamed

Linda Harisson and her furry bikini
Linda Harisson and her furry bikini
Linda Harisson and her furry bikini

I can’t handle any more erotica. (O.K. that didn’t sound right.)  But honestly, does there have to be so much porn in all genre fiction? (In all fiction?) I follow over 100 people’s reviews on That may sound like a lot, but I have to follow at least that many to sample two or three reviews everyday that aren’t stinking steamy McSteams.

Et tu, Brute? And now steampunk has followed suit. I’ll be honest, it is the first sign of the end. How many of you knew that the golden Animal House days of randy co-eds were over when Porky’s came out? By Porky’s II? Now all we have left is Girls Gone Wild (which at least drops the pretense of a storyline). Then there were vampires. Don’t even get me started on vampires.

Read moreSteampunk has been Steamy McSteamed