Redneck Sustainability: Ferment for Health

Bolt bottle opener

[dropcap2]I[/dropcap2]nventiveness comes in two flavors: the evil genius sort and the practical necessity sort. I personally am a fan of evil genius, but like horseradish, a little goes a long way. The bricks between the mortar of everyday life must be built with practical necessity genius, or else everything sorta’ smushes together.

This is where The Green Porch takes a moment to highlight another redneck example of said practical genius, the bolt and board bottle opener. It is noteworthy, observant reader, that many occurrences of redneck genius involve beer, but not such a stretch to understand beer as a necessary precursor to continued and broader genius. Thus the correlation should shock only the most sheltered prohibitionist.

Perhaps this is the best moment to alert the un-lubricated public of the significance fermentation has played in human discovery. A big one.

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The Jerry Bruckheimer Effect

Jerry BruckheimerOnly one man has produced three television series ranked among the top ten simultaneously, Jerry Bruckheimer. Why, you may ask is this important? Now imagine a world without Mr. Jerome Leon Bruckheimer. Total chaos.

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, CSI: Miami, CSI: NY, Without a Trace, Cold Case, The Amazing Race, Dark Blue and Chase create a short list of his television works. The man is more machine than man, an American entertainment god. When was the last time any of us sat down to an evening of mind-numbing television without suckling from Bruckheimer’s teat?

So answer me this. Which would disrupt the American way of life more cataclysmically? The bombing of the White House? Or the death of Jerry Bruckheimer?

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