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A Guide to Courteous Critique (plus rant!)

Haterade LogoEveryone needs to be able to give valid critique every now and then, lest we end up with a friend embarrassed before the nation when Simon Cowell pronounces her tone deaf and fat (then despite listing “female” on her entry form, he continues to inform the world that our friend is most certainly a “dude”). Terribly devastating, as you can imagine. And all because you never learned how to tell your friend that she really wasn’t a great singer.

But contrary to popular belief, critique doesn’t equal criticism. Plus it’s not as simple as “calling a spade a black icon that looks sorta like an upside down heart skewered on a stick. It’s takes some skill and practice. Like anything you have to practice, it’s best to start with the basics.

That’s what we’ll be addressing here on the Green Porch over the next couple of weeks in our four part guide to giving courteous critique. Here is what you have to look forward to.

Part One: Compliment Someone, Stupid.

Part Two: Get in Their Head Before Their Jock

Part Three: Haterade is for Sipping

Part Four: Jackasses Will Always be With Us

[Read more...]

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The Extra by Michael Shea

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The Waning of Thinking Man’s Schlock

Movie Poster for SchlockFirst off, I’m aware that the title of this post makes it sound like it should be in the latest issue of American Pharmaceuticals or Playboy. Ha, ha. Have your laugh so we can get on with it.

Has the world gotten too cruel for highbrow potty humor? Has satire been relegated to AFV (the new hip version of America’s Funniest Home Videos)?

Today I sit on the blog-o-hilltop in sackcloth and ashes lamenting the current condition of the thinking man’s schlock. But what, Mr. Redneck Granola, exactly is thinking man’s schlock. And are you sure you don’t just have a bad case of heartburn? Or maybe you had too many jalapeños on your pizza last night?

Yes, I did have too many jalapeños on my pizza, but that’s a separate issue. For now I’m talking about the sort of cheap entertainment our society used to cherish. Films such as Blazing Saddles and Airplane, or the poetry of Ogden Nash and Edward Lear (whatever happened to the limerick?). [Read more...]

My Top 6 Underrated Sci-fi Movies

Serenity Movie PosterHere are the Green Porch’s favorite sci-fi movies that haven’t seen the love they deserve. Why, you may ask, would I bother blathering on about such a trifle? Hey, everyone else is yammering about Tim Tebow and Ron Paul, so why can’t I give some props to a few movies that deserve more attention? (Sheesh, get off your high speeder).

Anywho, you may not have seen them, but I’ll give you some reasons as to why you should. So let’s get on with… [Read more...]

You Say Erotica, I Say Pornotica

GreenPorch Winter of eReadingIt’s been a great month of eVerse blog posts here on the Green Porch. Now that we dig deep into the closet of winter, we bid GPWeR  (GreenPorch Winter of eReading) farewell. But as a final parting shot across the bow I ask a serious question. (Fine. It’s not really serious. But I like to be dramatic. I’m a writer, dangit.)

Across the artistic board every medium perpetuates a certain lowbrow peep-show in perpetuity. That is to say, pornography is everywhere… except in fiction. You see, in fiction we have erotica. This got me to thinking. (Stop laughing. I think. On occasion.)

Why do people skim through nudey magazines, watch porno flicks and populate the internet with more pornography sites than there are McDonalds in the inner city, just to go off and read “erotica?” You and I both know the truth is they don’t. As sure as your soylent green, it’s porn, people! [Read more...]

Finding Free eBooks in Nook Store

GreenPorch Winter of eReadingThe miserly quest continues. The aftershocks of the largest eReader giving (and getting) season still shake the foundations of the eVerse. Like gorging on so many turkey sandwiches after Thanksgiving, you’ve stayed up late blurring eBook into eBook on your nifty new Nook.

Now your budget is paying for it. Even $2.99 seems like a chocolate mint too far (“but it’s wafer thin“). Now it is time to unabashedly scour the Nook store for quality free eBooks. There’s no shame in it. And there’s no trick to it. It’s just a simple trick. But it won’t be quick, so let’s get to it. [Read more...]

Filtering Porn Out of the eVerse

GreenPorch Winter of eReadingJust like the rest of the internet, the eBook eVerse consist hugely of porn. It is sorta the plankton of the eVerse — the simplest life form that feeds the mindless that in turn feed the suckers and bottom-dwellers who in turn feed the commercial fiction writers who feed the how-to-write-commercial-fiction writers who feed the I’m-too-sexy literati who feed themselves (as they cannibalize the top echelon with scathing reviews).

Hey, I didn’t create the life cycle. I’m just stating the fact that stuff always grows out of… how do the French say it… shit.

It’s not pretty, people. But with a little effort we can rise above the manure zone and better ourselves. But how, you may ask? Well here at the Green Porch we’ll tell you. [Read more...]

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