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Evolution of an Indie: Delay Success

Evolution of an IndieEntering my third year as an indie, it is my responsibility to impart sage wisdom to the world. (Don’t blink, or you might miss it.) See the series introduction post for more on my saga. But for now, lesson #8 for 2012:

Plan on having no success until one year after the release of your third novel.

As always it is critical to know thyself. If you are more of an entrepreneur than a writer, you may be able to shake your money maker and find commercial success with one or two novels. I’ve seen a few people do it.

On the other hand, if you are like me (an incompetent boob living in a fantasy bubble high off his own fart gas) it will take you even longer. (I’m not even going to go into doomsday scenarios due to the Department of Justice decision in regards to agency.)

If you are primarily a writer focus first on creating more and better content.

But, you will have to make up for marketing and sales deficiencies via adjustments to your writing. [Read more...]

Next American President: Reality TV Democracy

Enterprise BridgeThis is what it has come to. It’s the only way to involve Americans in a truly democratic election for the next president of the United States. And it’s so simple Simon Cowell would puke.

The process starts off with a regional (maybe state by state) essay contest. Names are kept off of the essays so they are judged by merit/content only by a bunch of snot-nosed interns headed up by the Lieutenant Governor. The top 100 essays move on to the next level.

At the second level of competition our national judges come into play (hand-selected by George W., Bill Clinton and TV execs). Let’s say the panel ends up looking something like Karl Rove, Bill Maher, Donald Trump and Rahm Emanuel. This is also where television coverage kicks in. [Read more...]

RRS Roundup: Noir and Nazis

This week on Read it! Review it! Share it! I’ve got two almost unrelated books for you. I tried to find a theme… but, hey. Sometimes you just gotta read what you read. Moving on…

Bye Bye Bertie

Bye Bye BertieThis is a real, indie gem–proof that the burgeoning independent publishing movement is gifting the world with brilliant novels that would have otherwise never seen the light of day. Bye Bye Bertie is a satirical, modern day detective novel (with a retro Dragnet-era feel) based on a gen-x, Canuck gumshoe who moves to Seattle in order to open a Christian detective agency.

Detective Jo LaFlam is equally interested in his profession and determining the mystic will of God as he is in jelly donuts and getting married. This book is funny. And I’m not just saying that. How could throwing Sergeant Friday into the middle of contemporary Seattle as a Christian detective not be funny? Let me tell you, it is. Mix in a hot, conservative dame with a sister being brainwashed by Druids, and you’ll soon be along for a great ride. Read it! Review it! Share it! (the paperback is cheaper than ebook!)

Treasure Quest of the Third Reich

Treasure Quest of the Third ReichPaul von Hauser is just a low-level criminal lawyer working for the Nazis during the advanced stages of WWII until a trivial interview with a prisoner sets him on a quest for an ancient Jewish fortune in gold. First off, I need to be clear. This is not an Inglorious Bastards sort of adventure romp through a dieselpunk, Nazi Germany. (Which would be the sort of book I normally yap about).

Treasure Quest (despite the name) feels more like a cerebral, piece of historical literary fiction. It is well-researched (from what I can tell) and frolics in revealing the timber and feel of German life amidst the rubble of a bomb-besiged Berlin. Most of the characters are trying to think of life after the war, and how to best navigate their current situation in order to get to that hoped for future. While this book has lots of potential, (along the lines of City of Thieves) I was left feeling schizophrenic about the story. I feel like it has not yet embraced its higher calling (maybe in fear that it won’t be read unless it includes Nazi gold). Read it! Review it! Share it!

Evolution of an Indie: Software, Seriously

Evolution of an IndieEntering my third year as an indie, it is my responsibility to impart sage wisdom to the world. (Don’t blink, or you might miss it.) See the series introduction post for more on my saga. But for now, lesson #7 for 2012:

The days of the typewriter are dead. Dead dead. Long dead. If you are a writer, so should the days of Microsoft Word’s dominance be dead. Software is serious. So seriously, why are so many people still using the lardaciously cumbersome Word to create graceful narratives?

Software is serious. Ditch Word, seriously.

Can I paint a masterpiece with an old, crusty 4″ brush that’s been resting in turpentine for a few years, maybe. But wouldn’t it be better to start with the proper tools from the beginning? Sure, I think Microsoft is evil, just like all gifted artist do (don’t we?). My moral beliefs aside, Word wasn’t designed for writing and publishing novels, scripts, or long narrative works of any sort.

There are a growing number of word processors that are designed to do just that. Click here for a good article for learning about some of them. But before you do that, I’ll lay down the gritty, time-saving truth for you. [Read more...]

An Open Letter to Matt Groening

Matt GroeningA few of my closest friends believe it has been my lifelong dream to be in a Gap commercial. I’m officially going on record in this confession letter to you, Mr. Groening, to declare this has always been a smokescreen to protect me from the devastation of never attaining my true lifelong dream–being referenced on The Simpsons.

Lord knows why, (I was a troubled youth with anti-social tendencies) but as a twelve-year-old in 1987 I religiously watched The Tracey Ullman Show. Perhaps it was the attainable crudeness of the animation, but something about The Simpson shorts captured my imagination from the very beginning. By the time Homer became the focus of the series, I had gripped the genesis of longing to my forming teenage bosom (actually, I’m really skinny and never had much of a man bosom, but I like the expression).

My motivation in attaining cultural notoriety has been to be written into the script of a Simpsons’ episode. Why reveal this closely clutched ambition now after so many years? The realization of complete and utter failure. [Read more...]

RRS Roundup: Diesel & Steam Vs. Magic

This week on Read it! Review it! Share it! it’s a rumble for the West. Who will win? The forces of industrialization or nature? First off…

Eve of Destruction (The Chronicles of Eve)

Eve of Destruction coverIn this version of the wild west it is the Industrialists versus the Magi. The Magi are losing. Eve is a young Magi in training. But in response to personal tragedy she grits her teeth and pulls herself up by the bootstraps the magi way… magical fireballs of destruction.

Along the way Eve has her childhood friend, Zach, to stabilize her during her periods of wavering doubt. The result is a sweet and believable sort of relationship. Eve of Destruction goes a bit further with its world building than many of the books in its growing genre of the magical, wild west. (Including some nice lingual touches like, “What in the void…”)

While the book might feel a little preachy to some (Goddess good, industry bad), I felt it fit within the developement of the plot and characters and made for a fun escape from our crusty reality. Read it! Review it! Share it!

The Native Star

Native Star coverI always enjoy a novel that starts with the bad guy. I take it as a good sign that evil will be taken seriously. In the case of Native Star, this is exactly what you get. Albeit brief, the prologue introduces you to a post Civil War America rife with spells and warlocks. And the bad guys are sufficiently bad.

Next the story introduces you to Emilly Edwards, a loyal and hardworking woman of the Sierra Nevadas who accidentally takes up magic. While looking for a man to provide for her aging adopted father, she finds much more than she bargained for… and the rest sort of writes itself! More about the magical society than the alternate history, the backdrop of the Native Star is fantastical and complex. Magic wins in this one, hands down. Read it! Review it! Share it! (*the ebook stands at $8! Sort of a tweener. Not cheap, but not too bad. If you like the free sample, dig in.)

Evolution of an Indie: Stick Together

Evolution of an IndieEntering my third year as an indie, it is my responsibility to impart sage wisdom to the world. (Don’t blink, or you might miss it.) See the series introduction post for more on my saga. But for now, lesson #6 for 2012:

Seek lasting partnerships whenever possible.

Independent is a misnomer. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Indies are the the most codependent, sniveling lot. We’re worse than realtors (ouch! I didn’t!) The vastness of the Indie profession (from creation to publication to sales) ensures the need of complimentary individuals.

On top of the complexity of placing an final product (novel or illustrated ebook of boils or what have you) in the hands of readers, indies must be salespeople. In today’s digital world that means an electronic networker. (One of the reasons so many of us start pathetic blogs…) [Read more...]