Your Personal Anthem

Serenity, Firefly class vesselIf nations have anthems, why shouldn’t you? I mean, what’s the difference between a large united aggregate of people organized around something in common and all the united aggregate stuff of you? Very little, if you ask me.

So what’s holding you back? Today is the day, my loyal readers. Focus on that deep internal pool of self-centeredness and pull out your personal anthem. If you’re the type to create something from nothing with musical instruments then take that route.

But for the rest of us, luckily there are plenty of previously created songs for us to steal choose from. (You’re dying to know mine, aren’t you?) First, there are several things to consider when co-opting a musician’s creative endeavor for your own self-indentification. Let’s begin. [Read more...]

My Top 6 Underrated Sci-fi Movies

Serenity Movie PosterHere are the Green Porch’s favorite sci-fi movies that haven’t seen the love they deserve. Why, you may ask, would I bother blathering on about such a trifle? Hey, everyone else is yammering about Tim Tebow and Ron Paul, so why can’t I give some props to a few movies that deserve more attention? (Sheesh, get off your high speeder).

Anywho, you may not have seen them, but I’ll give you some reasons as to why you should. So let’s get on with… [Read more...]

Gorram and Other Redneck Chinese

Map of the 'verse

Map of the 'verse

I know some of you (certainly not me. I have better things to do, like macaroni art) have spent time trying to interpret the slang expletives of the one-season sensation, Firefly. Browncoats, frothing fans of the show who refuse to accept that it was canceled, or even fiction (because it’s not), know that the phrases are Chinese. But the common expletive “gorram” remains mysterious to most.

[dropcap2]I[/dropcap2]‘m here to set the record straight. As a reputable provocateur and man of high journalistic integrity I use only the most trusted sources in the fabricating gathering of my knowledge before disseminating it to you. But first, a reality check. [Read more...]

Firefly: a Conspiracy Theory

Serenity from T.V.'s Firefly

Serenity from T.V.'s Firefly

In case you are unaware, the best show on T.V. to never finish a single season is incontestably Firefly. It aired and was cancelled in 2002 on Fox. Many diehard, Firefly freekies will tell you that they show was cancelled due to conflicts with the creator working on another show, or due to the fact that the first two episodes were mysteriously not aired until after the other ten.

Stick in the mud types will tell you that it was due to low ratings. (Pshaw.) I’m here today to tell you the truth. Partisan politics.

You see, the plot line for Firefly is about a browncoat independent who fights for civil liberties in order to stick it to the man by encouraging a free-trade economy based on bartering and simple living and implemented by a diverse, bipartisan crew of federation outsiders. (I know. How did the creators ever think they would get away with such a thing?) [Read more...]