Thanksgiving: Whine and Humble Pie

humble pie

humble pieNothing makes one more grateful/thankful than catching a whiff of whining leaking from one’s brain like a tire with a nail. (Tire air always smells so rank too, like dried barf and erasers.)

I’m one of those people who loves life as long as it loves me back, but a hang nail can get me out of sorts. I’m a whiner. Well maybe I don’t whine as much as pout. If you’ve ever played cards with me, you’ve seen it. I mean, why won’t something as fickle as random chance let me win more than 0.5% of the time? It’s not like I play cards with 100 other people at once. (Of course there is the possibility that I suck at cards, but that’s loser talk.)

With Thanksgiving days away, I’m feeling a bit mushy–like I want to hug the cosmos and apologize for having a bad attitude about the last month of sick kids and wife. Due to quarantining them, taking lots of Airborne and demanding extra sleep, I’ve stayed mostly healthy so that I can continue to blog. (Sometimes I’m just so darn noble. Does anyone else smell barf and erasers?)

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Sweet Tea and Conservatism

Republican Sugar Cookies

Republican Sugar CookiesIt’s a little known fact, but sugar can be directly linked to conservatism in just about every aspect of life. The only question political science hasn’t been able to answer is whether sugar causes conservatism or the other way around. Since acquiring the truth of the matter requires too much voodoo for my conservative values, we won’t answer it here at the Green Porch, either.

But we will address the broader issue by taking a closer look at a single anecdotal piece of evidence gathered from an extremely small sample size that will surely convince you of the truth. Namely, the drinking habits of our current president, Barack Obama.

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Help Make Reefer Free on Amazon

Fans of Fistful of Reefer (the cult classic novel, not the herb), to arms! The need has arisen to take action. You might have known that Amazon/Kindle has an extensive listing of free novels. What you might not have known (of course you didn’t. Only a nerd would have any reason to) is that gaining … Read more Help Make Reefer Free on Amazon