Death Drinks Tequila

The Fourth Horseman by David Mark Brown

The Fourth Horseman by David Mark BrownRight about now you’re thinking, “I should have taken the blue pill.” I know, I know. Here at the Green Porch the madness never ends. But that’s what makes the crusty stick of gum we call life, taste like Big League Chew.

Most of you have never wondered what sort of alcoholic beverage Death would consume had he the allowance and the inclination to do so. None the less, today I provide the definitive answer — tequila. And not just any tequila, but Casa Herradura, 1878, Reserva. (Could it be a coincidence that Félix López, the founder of the hacienda and distillery, died that same year?)

When you think about it, it makes total sense. Killing people at the fore of the apocalypse is dusty work, and nothing wets the old whistle like a stiff shot of tequila. Anywho, it’s time I bridge over to the official launching of the second complete Reeferpunk prequilla, Fourth Horseman. This little ditty is not so much the backstory on any of my characters, but a harbinger of things to come.

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Reefer Ranger Rides the Range

Reefer Ranger by David Mark Brown

Reefer Ranger, a prequella by David Mark BrownThe coffee shop I’m patronizing at the moment, Liaisons (in Hamilton, MT), has a T-shirt slogan that boasts, “Good morning, sinners!” I think this is a swell way to greet the world every day (I know more keenly than anyone about my sinnerly status), and it is sorta’ the way I view my writing career (I use the word “career” loosely).

I write for a certain tongue in cheek audience who not only likes a good story but enjoys poking fun. (People like you.) My first Reeferpunk short, “Reefer Ranger,” does just that. You might ask, “Why on earth, for the love of Texas history, would you choose an anti-hero Texas Ranger with a twisted connection to wacky tobaccy for your first story? I don’t know. Maybe the same part of me that would love to see Ron Paul and Donald Trump in a presidential debate thinks that weed and Texas Rangers make a good combination.

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Steampunk has been Steamy McSteamed

Linda Harisson and her furry bikini
Linda Harisson and her furry bikini
Linda Harisson and her furry bikini

I can’t handle any more erotica. (O.K. that didn’t sound right.)  But honestly, does there have to be so much porn in all genre fiction? (In all fiction?) I follow over 100 people’s reviews on That may sound like a lot, but I have to follow at least that many to sample two or three reviews everyday that aren’t stinking steamy McSteams.

Et tu, Brute? And now steampunk has followed suit. I’ll be honest, it is the first sign of the end. How many of you knew that the golden Animal House days of randy co-eds were over when Porky’s came out? By Porky’s II? Now all we have left is Girls Gone Wild (which at least drops the pretense of a storyline). Then there were vampires. Don’t even get me started on vampires.

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